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KEY...BEFORE THE SCRIPT
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ONLY On The Script Pages
A NOTE TO WRITERS:
REGARDING DIALOGUE AND ACTION, VIRTUALLY THE TWO MAIN THINGS LISTED ON THE SCRIPT PAGES...
IN YOUR SCRIPTS, WRITE HOW WE AS PEOPLE TRULY "TALK", NOT JUST WHAT Verbiage "LOOKS OR READS WELL" ON PAPER.
"DARLING, YOU MESMERIZE ME EVER SO ELOQUENTLY WHENEVER I SEE YOU" ... MAY SOUND EVER SO INVITING IN A NOVEL. BUT, IF WE HEAR THIS ON THE SCREEN, NO WAY!
IT WOULD BE MORE REALISTIC FOR THE CHARACTERS ON SCREEN TO SAY, INSTEAD,
"DARLING, YOU LOOK HOT!" OR
"YOU'RE GORGEOUS" OR SOMETHING LIKE,
"CAN WE SKIP DINNER TONIGHT?"
These lines just above sound more natural...don't they? When an actor's facial expressions and voice tones fluctuate as they say the lines, it reveals clearly to the audience what is intended with the words spoken, or unspoken!
This is how dialogue should be on the screen. And it's not difficult to "contrive" when you create it! Have fun with it! Also, if you have an idea of what you want the character to say or do, but do not have the specific words yet, write what's on your mind at the time. You can always go back later and change the verbiage to what sounds best. There was a saying that I've heard many times during some writing workshops over the years..."The Essence of writing is re-writing." Even the most noted writers write at least a second or third or further...drafts!
If you're not sure what sounds more natural in speaking, just simply listen to how people "talk" while you're out in public...LISTEN to their "word choices" spoken during, for example, your family dinners, lunches with co-workers and friends, work breaks, etc. If you work in a restaurant, store, market, etc...see HOW customers, co-workers Speak, etc. etc.
Consider how educated people speak.
Listen how illiterate people talk.
Now this gets tricky. There are illiterate people who have worked their way into being college professors (in real life, not just in the movies) and they speak ever so eloquently, but there may be some type of tactic they're using or have issues with or are struggling with...to get their job done, for real. They may have a Teacher's Assistant whom they get to read and proof work for them as they verbally list their needs for the T.A. to check over/refer to. They may act like they want to "hear" how the words sound aloud, from an author, as they relax and see if they've captured the essence of what he/she wants to be presented to the students. See, there are so many avenues you can take to "Contrive" realistic results with your character's realistic results with your character's actions/creations. Also, regarding your character's physical actions written for the screen...
"He glided ever so eloquently across the red carpet as she sashayed to meet up with him. They then lovingly hold each other."--Sounds like a Novel! If you want to write like this, write a book!
In our descriptions/actions, write this in as simple a language as possible. You want to write where your message is clearly understood by those who may never see your face or hear you speak as a person or writer. Your Script is a diagram for the cast and crew to follow ever so smoothly.
For action sake in the script...for example...you can write things like the following, instead.
"He sees her in the crowd and heads her direction. She looks over and sees him as he smiles at her. She stops what she's doing and runs toward him. They embrace each other as people walk past and watch them in awe."